Lessons from Three Potatoes

People like to record their ‘firsts’. First love, first kiss, first night out, first job, first salary and so on and so forth. I am 21. One of my ‘firsts’ took place today and I think I should remember and record the date forever. 

20.02.2014. 

I finally cooked the first dish of my life! OK, it was just a snack. A Plain-Jane vegetable sandwich. But it was my first dish!! Around four in the afternoon, I went to the kitchen. I peered into the vegetable tray and chose three small sweet potatoes. No matter how adventurous I felt, I like to be cautious with my first use of the stove. I got the other ingredients out. A cucumber, an onion, a small tomato, some butter and some lime. I knew there was no pepper in the house. So I improvised the recipe and brought out what my mom calls “kaalo jeera” and “bit noon”. Feeling like a chef already, I gave myself a self-contended smile. 

The next instant, I found the three potatoes lolling on a dish. OK. So how do I boil them now?? One of them seemed to mock me,” How will you peel us? Remember the last time you tried and peeled your skin instead?” I narrowed my eyes. That was quite a few years back. I suddenly remembered the Phuchka-wala who sat near my house. He had a beautiful way of peeling potatoes using just his fingers.  He would first boil them and then the peels would come off easily! 

Now I did something very stupid. 

I heated some water in an electric kettle, put the potatoes in a bowl, and then poured the water into it. Then I pushed the entire ensemble of my stupidity into the microwave oven, hoping to avoid lighting the gas stove, lest it should cause an explosion of some kind. Obviously, the potatoes didn’t boil this way. They only enjoyed a warm bath. 

I messaged my boyfriend on Whatsapp. “How to boil a potato?” He was offline. I remembered he said he would be going to watch some ‘Mountain Dew Stunts bla bla bla’ at 4PM. Urghh. I suddenly received a message.
Dishanti (my school friend): Nice deepee!
Me (Thanking God that someone was online): How to boil a potato?
Evidently, this sort of a reply took her by surprise. But she told me I was on the right track. Except that I should’ve placed the bowl on the stove and not in the micro oven. 

I took a deep breath and turned the knob on the cylinder. There was a hushed sound – like of gas escaping. I lit the stove. The water started to dance.
Me: Dishanti!! There is a tempest in the bowl!!
Dishanti: Bring it down!! It’s done then! Is the potato soft?
Me: Not yet! :/
Then it dawned on me that the bowl I had chosen was small compared to the amount of water I had put into it. So I drained some. The tempest seemed to sober down a bit. After two minutes, I pricked one of the potatoes with a knife. It was still hard, but softer than before. So at least it was working now. I chopped the cucumber and onion and tomato and kept them ready. 

After around fifteen long minutes (I think that’s how long it took), the three musketeers in the bowl had softened. Finally!! I brought them down and peeled them with my hand. “How wonderful the phuchka-walas must be feeling whenever they do this!,” I thought, “its fun!” Soon I unleashed my knife and took my revenge on the three formerly-mocking-and-now-nude potatoes. 

The rest of the stuff happened quite smoothly. I toasted the bread, threw in the chopped veggies, garnished. When my brother sniffed his way to the kitchen, saying, “I smell sandwich...”, I felt so good! I had indeed made a sandwich and not something inedible! Such joy! 

He ate the first one and gave me a bite. MMMMM...
I made four sandwiches in all. Each time, I perfected the art a little more. When my mom returned from work, I gave her a sandwich. As she ate, she asked, “How did you manage to boil the potatoes?” 

I laughed inside a thousand times and felt that I had learnt a lot today!