BLACK

  Before She vanquished all Evil,
  Before Light triumphed over Dark;
  While Evil awaited its own end,
  It did speak its last few words...

  I think I will be vanquished tonight. Like is the fate of all things evil,  Ma Kali's fingers will wrap around my neck and crack it loose. Then perhaps my soul will soar in the smoky Diwali sky and look for one spot of darkness where it can sit and cry all night. Finding none, before dawn breaks and as soon as the bells at the pandal pujas stop ringing, I will have vanished like a whif of black air. And noone will find me again.
  I feel so wicked. I shouted at my friends in the evening, banged shut the doors of my car to show my rage towards my dad, ate the food mum made but didn't once smile at her. I didn't light the candles in the evening and purposely kept my room dark. I haven't spoken a word since we came home after an abruptly ended shopping-spree. I didn't even go out to the balcony to see the lit sky once. I just laid on the bed like a dead log and cursed people in my mind.
  The sounds of one cracker bursting after another, the music from the shehnai floating in through the windows, the collective beat of the dhaks echoing through the neighbourhood are signs of joy and prosperity, of happiness, of family love, of the Goddess's divine protection. Yet I do not know why each of these are making me want to throw things at the walls, or to strangle people and then strangle myself, or to shut myself in a room and bang my head against the desk. Sadism has gotten me. The blood in my veins has started to boil. I hope I survive the night.
  Besides, Evil is one of the loneliest things on earth. If the Goddess does spare me, I'll still be crushed dead under the spear of Loneliness.. Happy Diwali to the rest of you!!
P.S. the first time i clicked on "Publish", my phone hanged and restarted. Since then, my original post has remained unretrievable. I typed a second time. Hope it gets published now. Ominous affair. Did She want a silent kill?